Lockdown Revisited: A Personal Journey
Original Publication 11/11/20
Photo courtesy of Kasha-May Benson
Here we go again. Lockdown season two, for lack of a better term. We’ve been here before, haven’t we? Either way, it’s all a bit familiar, and Deja Vu’s certainly creeping in. Those same old insecurities and deep-seated frustrations are knocking at the door, desperate to wreak the relative havoc they’re oh so accustomed to.
This time around, however, things will be different. I’m more aware of some of the “benefits” of lockdown if you can call them that. The reimposed significance of nature, more quality time with my partner, and more time to focus on those passionate recreations that personify my life; writing, reading, films and cooking, to name but a few. That’s definitely a cause for modest celebration, right?
It’ll be a challenge, though, that much is abundantly clear. A daily game of mental ping pong with no clear winner or loser in sight. But, at least we’re all in this together. Because that’s so often the most strenuous part of any mental conflict, it’s personal, often deeply so, and it holds the unenviable quality of alienating you from the rest of the world, however seemingly so, and we often find difficulty in conveying our emotions as such.
At least we all share in this unfortunate consensus, and it’s, perhaps, the first and only time that something like this will affect most of us in such equal measure. I don’t know about you, curious reader, but that unequivocal truth brings me great solace and a peculiar form of comfort.
Yes, my personal situation is less daunting than some. I’m in the fortunate position of plying my trade as a freelance writer to some financial benefit. My home is effectively my office, and my day to day life won’t change by some inordinate degree, and maybe that makes me disparate from those who have experienced great change in theirs. But I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and I’ll work even harder to get further.
This blog, for instance, was born during our first lockdown. Mainly as a form of catharsis and a desire to illiterate my thoughts, feelings and passions. Were it not for this most distinctive of events, maybe it never would have seen the light of day.
All things considered, my purpose as I sit here and write to you all, isn’t to preach the “benefits” of lockdown, it would be incredibly insensitive to those poor people who have lost loved ones as a result of this pandemic to do so, it’s simply to convey my musings towards this new reintegration of lockdown, with the genuine hope that you too find some measure of comfort in the little nuggets of clarity that emerge. For this time, we go in with a perception that’s a little clearer, and, just maybe, you’ll find them a little easier this time around.